The dark night of the soul that lasted a winter.
The sun darkening a little bit more each day.
The single candle burns in the window
In hopes of the return of the sun.
Thank you for the song, Laura.
For weeks I’ve been compelled each night at the boundary of sleep to write you. And every day presents “no time.” And the circle continues, a higher point on the spiral and still no words to describe the events. I need Amanda’s questions to focus and bring forth words.
The group identity resides in the archetypal realm – immortality (in our perspective) as a unit whose parts are played by different people. A slap on the butt with a plea to “BREATHE” as the newborn sees the outer light for the first time.
The mind searches for anything in memory to relate it to. Fragments swirl to the surface only to move back to the depths.
That song – “Life is but a dream” when the bear wandered between our circle and the remote Cranberry Mountain solar cabin. Sun – son of the Sun. “Keep on swimming,” said Dory. “Just two lost souls living in a fishbowl…”
The ringing – ringing – is it the phone? Is it the alarm clock? Struggling to wake up … white wolf memories. And I watch as a dark caped, hooded tall figure enters my office carrying me. He was approximately 8 feet tall, carried me effortlessly, and appeared to be wearing a breathing apparatus. The only way to relate was to call it “Batman” or Darth Vader, but there was no evil intent at all.
And with the usual jerk, I was on my couch – awake in my body. Images, actions, and events swirled in bands of light as they slipped away.
How fleeting are the memories of the dream dimension – something that was so vital, so fluid, slips away in the dark of the night. I am teaching again, gathering the children as I did so many many lifetimes ago. My friend David was there, organizing the children in to the waiting cars, but not cars. Mine needed fuel.
And maybe Alan was right all along – I am just tired. But right in a way that was much more than physical. I no longer have the energy to keep the me(inner light) separate from my reality operative persona. The Law of Threes – tantra – increase the tension until it must release to be resolved in either a higher or lower union.
The Karmic Triangle, Chris/Claire. The void. The resolution of all tension.
The continuity of self through lifetimes – the long life. Quantum Leap personified the concept. Al was a hologram acting in the “real world.” In each situation or body that Sam found himself in, he still knew who he was. And the series mission, “for Sam to return home.”
Quantum field – consciousness filling the interruption in space. Co-creators – as Transformative Meditation ended with. It is too powerful. Any desire (be a good Buddhist here) will extinguish your light. “There can be only one,” the Highlander.
And to that last teaching of the group. Ron as he was prone to do, just put the group in higher and higher spaces. One by one people dropped out when they could not detect any marker. And then there was one. Me.
“I can tell there is something there, but I can’t tell you what it is.”
I know what it is now.
The Mysteries are tangible -true and we are a part of the creative process.
And in that last conversation between Ron and I in his living room – I was sitting on the ottoman- i told him, “I can’t get all the spheres to line up.”
He looked at me with great fatigue and said, “Neither can I.”
And the memory of my nocturnal journey returns. I was taken in “for surgery.” All the dimensional spheres lined up – each a diminsion, each a “world”. And in that alignment is conscious co-creation.
“You have a whole universe inside of you.”